


I'm Addicted

by tmntstyle



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-14
Updated: 2015-03-14
Packaged: 2018-03-17 20:44:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3543164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tmntstyle/pseuds/tmntstyle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Addictions are hard to break.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He sat there, staring at the bottle in his hands, and thought of how he had gotten to this point.

Thinking back, he felt a twinge of pain in his chest and downed the bottle to the very last drop.

It burned his throat but he didn’t care. The pain, though uncomfortable, helped him to forget what had happened an hour before.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Out on patrol, the four turtle brothers had barely escaped a tussle with Elite Foot Ninjas and the two youngest argued the whole way home.

“Stop criticizing me, Raph! I’m fine!” Mikey crossed his arms and turned to face his hotheaded sibling.

Raphael snorted and bit back a snarl. “Ya keep sayin’ that but I know it’s a lie. Ya nearly died tonight! How are ya fine?!”

“I was just distracted when that ninja snuck up on me. No big deal.” Mikey shrugged. “Don knocked him out.”

Growling, Raph jabbed a finger in Mikey’s face. “That’s your problem, Mike. Ya can’t depend on us to bail ya out every time you’re not focused.”

“I don’t have a ‘problem’! And I don’t always get bailed out of situations!” Mikey stood defensively with clenched fists and gritted teeth.

“Oh sure, Mike. Do ya know why you’re always targeted and sustain more injuries than the rest of us? It’s because you’re the weakest link and our enemies know it.” Raph sneered. “They laugh and joke behind your back and if I were the enemy, I’d do the same. You’re worthless!”

Raph didn’t yell, but there was venom in his tone that crumpled Mikey’s resolve to stand up to him. He could literally feel his soul shattering and it hurt, a lot.

Tears streamed down his face and he failed to wipe them away. Feeling embarrassed to behave like a child in front of his brothers, Mikey ran to the lair and hid in his room.

Leo and Donnie didn’t say a word as the older three returned home and went their separate ways.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That had been an hour ago. Mikey had gone to his secret mini fridge and raided his stash of booze.

In a form of routine, Mikey always got drunk in order to drown his sorrows caused by none other than Raphael. The other two didn’t help either.

He wished, for all the world, that he hadn’t become addicted but there was no going back from this, not for him.

“I’m a sick fool.” He opened another bottle - his third - and drank it. “And I don’t care.” He felt wonderful. The excess amount of beer worked in his system, sending him into a drunken state - of which he loved.

Due to his rush home, Mikey neglected to make sure his door was locked. The door opened with a creak and Leonardo, the eldest sibling, entered the cluttered room.

“Mikey? It’s me. I came to check on you. Raph can be such a-Mikey?” Leo’s eyes widened as he spotted empty bottles on the floor and one in Mikey’s hand.

“MIKEY!” Leo yanked the bottle away from him. “Are you insane?!” Mikey growled and hid his face in a pillow.

“Ngo ‘way...” His words slurred as he pressed the pillow to his face. Leo threw the bottle away and sat on the bed. “Not until you tell me what’s going on, right now.”

Sighing, Mikey sat up - to the best of his ability - and tried to focus on Leo. It was difficult since his vision had gone blurry.

“A while back...two...three...mm-four year ‘go, we play’n ninja dodgeball an’ I ‘it ‘aph. ‘e was out but wou’n’t leave the game so ‘e got mad an’ said sssstuff...”

Leo nodded. “I remember. He blew his top and was redder than his mask. Could practically see steam coming out his mouth.”

“Yeah...When I ran nnnout...I met wit’ Casey an’ ‘e gave me a beer. I was ‘ooked. ‘e bought me a mini fridge an’ gets me cases of da stuff all da time.”

Having a sudden realization, Leo glanced around the room then fixed his gaze on Mikey. “You’re addicted, aren’t you? You’re an alcoholic.”

Mikey smirked at the term and shrugged. “Nevah ‘eard it out loud. Sound cool.”

Leo shook his head in disagreement. “You’re not happy with this, Mikey. You’re disgusted with yourself for going this far with it. I want to help you.”

Shying away, Mikey scrunched up against the headboard of his almost-too-small bed. “N-No. I dddddon’t ‘eed hellllppp... P-Plllease.... I’m f-fine.”

He began to shake as silent tears streamed past his worn and tattered orange mask.

Living up to his role as older brother, Leo crawled over and pulled his upset little brother into a hug and rocked him while saying soothing words in a low voice.

“Shh, it’s alright. I’m here for you, little bro. Calm down. Deep breaths, Mikey. Can you do that for me?”

Nodding slightly, Mikey slowed his breathing and took big lungfuls of air. Leo gave a comforting smile.

“That’s better. Hey Mikey? Will you let me help you stop being an addict?”

Mikey bit his lip, turned his gaze up to Leo, and nodded.

“P-Please helppp me. M-Make it st-stooop.” More sobs wracked the smaller body, causing the elder’s grip to tighten ever so slightly to offer support.

“I will Mikey. I promise, I will do everything in my power to help you.”

Mikey felt safe in Leo’s arms but stiffened as he realized something. “Wait, Leeooo. P-Promise you won’ ‘ell no one.”

He sat up to face Leo properly. His eyes were filled with panic as he spoke quickly, yet softly so as not to wake anyone at that hour.

“Don’ ‘ell da othas, plllease! Ya can’ ‘ell D ‘cause he do science-y stuff, dad train me more as discipline an’....an’ ya just can’ ‘ell ‘aph...”

Leo held his hands up in defense. “Ok, ok, I got it. I wouldn’t dream of telling Raphael and I’ll respect your wishes. But one day, you will tell them. You don’t have to say why, but you must tell the truth. Do we have a deal?”

They shook hands and the deal was set. Leo could tell Mikey was on the verge of losing it so he offered a hand.

“Come on, you’re sleeping with me tonight.” Mikey looked at him skeptically, thus causing Leo to roll his eyes. “Not like that, bro. Don’t let your drunken mind tell you that.”

Smiling sheepishly, Mikey allowed Leo to lead him down the hall to the leader’s room and lie down on the bed. Leo curled around his brother and held him close for warmth. “Sleep tight, little bro.”

“Night Leo.” Mikey quickly fell asleep and Leo soon followed. Both knew they had a long road ahead of them and they were ready to face the challenge, no matter what it took.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The following morning, Donatello found himself sitting on the kitchen counter while he waited for his coffee to finish brewing.

Everyone knew he was addicted to the stuff but no one mentioned it nor tried to make him stop; no one except Leonardo.

Donnie knew it - the caffeine - wasn’t good for himself but it helped keep him awake when he had to stay up and finish a project.

Leo would sometimes come in and gently, but firmly, tear Don away from his work so he would get a good night’s sleep for once.

Though he hated to be pulled away from his numerous tasks, Donnie truly appreciated the effort his eldest sibling put into helping him.

So he sat there and held the coffee in his hand - black, of course - while he thought over the events of the previous night.

‘Why was Raph so coarse? How could he say such horrible things about Mikey to his face? I just don’t get it!’ 

Lost in his thoughts, Donnie practically jumped off the counter when someone smacked his leg.

Some of the coffee spilled and Donnie cursed under his breath. He heard a bark-like laugh and groaned internally.

“Shell, Don! You’re so skittish! I knew I’d scare ya but not that badly!” Don rolled his eyes and cleaned up the mess. “I’m glad my clumsiness amuses you, Raphael. Did you get any sleep last night?”

Raph crossed his arms and cocked an eye ridge at his brainy sibling. “Wha’cha mean by that? ‘Course I got sleep. Had a great sleep, in fact.”

Donnie scoffed. “Don’t pull that crap with me. You and I both know you don’t sleep when you hurt one of us and you sure as shell hurt Mikey last night.”

It was Raph’s turn to scoff as he grabbed some cereal and poured it in a bowl with milk. “Kid had it comin’. Someone had to tell ‘im the truth, so I did. Got a problem with that?”

Donnie slammed a fist on the table. “Of course I have a problem with it! Haven’t you noticed his behavior whenever you snap at him?! It literally hurts him when you do and you don’t even care!”

Raph was taken aback by the usually passive turtle’s outburst and waited a moment before speaking.

“...Ya mean the cryin’ thing? That’s normal for ‘im.” Don shook his head and leaned forward so he could speak quietly.

“Every time this happens, he locks himself away and cries all night; sometimes into the morning. Since your room is next to his, I’m sure you’ve heard it. Haven’t you, Raph? Have you heard our baby brother’s sobs of pain that were caused by your short temper?”

“Enough!! I’m done talkin’ about this!” Raph huffed and devoured his cereal. Donnie shrugged. “Fine. But you better apologize and mean it the next time you see him.

Sighing, Raph nodded and put his bowl in the sink. “I always do.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Raph’s biggest addiction, though he hated to admit it, was self-harm through fighting crime when upset.

He would purposefully go out, get beat up, then come home while everyone was asleep. One turtle, however, was always awake when Raph got home and helped get him cleaned up.

That night was no different. Mikey stayed in Leo’s room all day so Raph didn’t get to apologize and Donnie ignored him altogether. So in routine, Raph snuck out to find trouble.

Upon return, around 2:30 a.m., Raph limped into the lair covered in scratches and bruises. Raph tried to be light on his feet so as not to wake his siblings but froze as a light came on and a familiar voice broke through the darkness.

“You’re late. I was wondering what took so long but now I understand.” Raph cursed under his breath and turned to face his blue-banded brother.

“I just...uh...got distracted. What’s it to ya, Fearless?” Rolling his eyes, Leo stepped forward and tripped Raph, who fell in a pile of flesh and curses. “Doing this will cause you to fight worse. You need to stop this reckless behavior. Now.”

Growling, Raph attempted and failed to sit up. “Ya know why I have to do it. It keeps you guys safe from my temper.”

Leo knelt with the first aid kit in hand and began attending to his hot-tempered brother’s wounds. “Yes, Raph. I know why, but there are alternatives to releasing your emotions and you know it.”

Sighing, Raph looked at the ground. “I know, but it’s hard to stop at this point.” Leo stopped and helped Raph up. “I’ll help you. It’s my duty as leader and older brother to make sure you three are healthy.”

“Thanks, bro. I owe ya one.” Leo shook his head. “No, you don’t. Consider it on the house.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Addictions are hard to break.

After making sure Raph was in bed, Leo passed the lab and heard the unmistakable sound of his genius brother mumbling to himself.

Leo sighed and entered the dark room, startling Donnie to attention. “Leo? What are you doing up? It’s...” He checked the clock. “...3:00 a.m. Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

Crossing his arms, Leo leaned on the door frame. “I should be asking you the same thing, Don. It’s really late and you should be asleep.”

Heaving an exasperated sigh, Donnie turned back to his work. “Look, I appreciate you caring for me. Really, I do. But there’s too much that has to be done before I can even consider sleep. So thanks, but no thanks.”

Leo reached forward and closed the laptop. Before Donnie could protest, Leo picked him up and hauled him to bed. “If I catch you out of bed, you’ll receive double training in a few hours. Go to sleep.”

With that, Leo shut the door and went to his own bedroom to find Mikey curled up in a corner holding a half-empty beer bottle.

“Mikey!” Leo darted forward and snatched the bottle away, downing it before tossing it aside.

“What are you doing?! I thought we discussed this! You-” He stopped mid-sentence when he noticed his brother’s trembling limbs and glassy eyes that were red-rimmed and puffy.

“Mikey?” Leo knelt beside him. “What’s wrong, bro?” Mikey sobbed and shuddered. “I-I’m bad! A...A criminal! I d-deserve to b-be locked away f-forever!”

Leo pulled the hysterical Mikey into his lap and tried to soothe him. “What makes you say that?”

Mikey shook and nuzzled into Leo’s arms as much as possible. “I d-drink underage and...and you h-hate me for i-it.” He sniffled and wiped his eyes in order to clear them but to no avail.

Shaking his head, Leo rocked Mikey and rubbed his shell. “No, I don’t. I could never hate you, no matter what you do. I will always love you.”

“But...But you yelled at me a-and told the others the truth so I-I would get in t-trouble.” That made Leo pause and stare at his younger brother in confusion. He hadn’t told anybody about it nor did he yell. Did he snap at Mikey? Yes, but not loudly.

“That didn’t happen, Mikey. It was a bad dream. I swore I wouldn’t tell and I didn’t. And I don’t hate you. Would I be trying to cheer you up if I hated you?”

“N-No. It just seemed so real, you know?” Leo nodded and lightly kissed the top of Mikey’s head. “I know. Just remember that we all love you and would do anything to protect you, ok?”

Mikey yawned and nodded, laying his head on Leo’s shoulder. “Night Leo.”

“Goodnight, Mikey.” He carried Mikey to the bed and laid beside him.

As he was nearing sleep, Leo coughed into his hand, saw blood, and sighed. His own addiction was killing him and he hoped he could help his brothers before it was too late.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Due to the activities in the wee hours of the morning, no one got up until noon. Raph and Donnie shuffled into the kitchen at the smell of food cooking and both felt relieved to find Mikey at the stove in a chipper mood.

“Morning dudes. I guess I should say afternoon instead, huh? Haha! I’m too funny.” Mikey giggled and set out four bowls of ramen on the table.

“Dig in, bros. It’s to die for.” He smiled and looked as if nothing had happened the previous two nights. In fact, he had showered and brushed his teeth, adding some green make-up so he didn’t look any worse for ware. 

Donnie smiled at Mikey and drank orange juice instead of coffee. He didn’t need caffeine due to having wonderful sleep.

“You seem happy this morning, Mikey.” Mikey glanced at Donnie but gave no indication of remembering the argument.

“Yep! I had the deepest, most awesome sleep ever! I feel...awesome!” Chuckling at Mikey’s hyper-activeness, Donnie nudged Raph with his foot. Groaning half-heartedly, Raph grabbed Mikey’s hand.

“Mikey...I-I want to apologize for what I said the other night. It was uncalled for and untrue. Can ya forgive me?”

Tensing at the physical contact, Mikey nodded and pulled his hand away. “It’s ok. You do’t have to apologize.” He backed away and bit his lip. “Consider it forgotten.”

Raph started at the change in behavior and looked Mikey over. Only then did he notice how tired and thin Mikey looked. There were faint bags under his eyes and they looked hollow. The light, baby blues were dull; almost gray.

“Mikey? Are ya ok, bro? Ya look a little under the weather.” Raph stepped closer, thus causing Mikey to step back into the stove and place a hand on a burner that was still on.

“YOW!!” Mikey yelped in pain and held his hand close. Donnie immediately rushed over and put Mikey’s hand under cold water running from the faucet.

His doctor mode had been initiated.

“Are you alright, Mikey? Looks like a nasty burn. I’ll have to treat it right away to prevent extensive damage. Come with me.”

Don led Mikey to his lab without even glancing at Raph. Raphael mentally kicked himself. What did he do wrong?

He stood at the lab door and listened as he heard loud sniffles and yelps as Mikey’s hand was treated. Before Raph could leave to get himself into trouble, a calm hand was on his shoulder to keep him where he was.

“Wha’cha want, Leo?” He heard a heavy sigh and faced his eldest brother. Seeing Leo, Raph choked on the many rude remarks he planned to make as he saw puffy, red-rimmed eyes, pale green skin and heard heavy breathing.

“Whoa, Leo. What happened to ya? Sick or somethin’?” Leo shook his head as he cleared his throat to speak. “It’s none of your concern, Raph. I’m more worried about the three of you and your...problems.”

“Problems? You’re on the verge of lecturing me about my habit when you look like you’re about to collapse? The shell is your problem?!”

“Cool off, Raphael. I’m just trying to help you guys with your addictions.” He coughed and looked away to compose himself before turning back to his hot-headed sibling.

“Addictions? I know Don’s obsessed with coffee and that’s an issue, but me and Mike? I just look for trouble a lot, no biggie. What’s the Battle Nexus Champion addicted to? Pranks? Video games? Pizza?”

Leonardo sighed and shook his head, again. “It’s not my information to tell and I’ve sworn to keep it between us. He’ll tell you hims-” Leo erupted into a harsh coughing fit and collapsed to the floor unconscious.

“LEO!”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As his vision cleared, Leonardo surveyed his surroundings. How did he get in this bed? Last thing he remembered was talking to Raph then...nothing.

“Leo? You still with us, bro?” Leo’s gaze focused in on the face of his brother Donatello, causing more confusion to settle in.

Trying to articulate his questions was tough so he just shrugged and rasped. “I-I’m...fi-ine...Wha-at h...appened?” 

Donnie told him how Raph carried him to bed and told the other two what had happened. “I ran some tests and am beyond shocked at what I found. Leo, why did you start taking that drug?”

Leo’s breath caught and he struggled to swallow the lump in his throat. “Y-You...f-found out?”

Don nodded and looked at Leo with disappointment. That look pained Leo to the core and he had to turn away to not meet his brother’s penetrating gaze.

“Just tell me, Leo. I want to help you before it’s too late. Please tell me why.”

Mustering up his strength, Leonardo faced his brother and recounted the tale.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Leonardo faced off against Karai as their blades connected with an echoing clang that could be heard for miles.

“I must admit that your skills have improved since we last faced one another, Leonardo. And yet, we are evenly matched as I, too, have improved.”

Rolling his eyes, Leo broke away and kicked Karai in the gut. “Cut the chatter, Karai. I know you hate fighting me but you have to due to honor. Why did you really call me here?”

Holding her slightly aching stomach, Karai sheathed her katana and took out a package. “This is the reason I asked for your presence.” She tossed the package to him and crossed her arms.

“My father has informed me that if you take that substance daily, then you and I will have no need to fight again.”

Leo raised a questioning eye ridge at the statement. “And if I refuse?”

Karai shook her head and sent Leo a deadly glare. “Then I will not hesitate to take out your family in the most torturous manner I can imagine. It’s your choice, Leonardo. Choose wisely.”

With that, she disappeared in a cloud of smoke, leaving Leo to make his decision. Knowing his family was on the line, he quickly made his decision and took a dose of the mystery substance. He knew it would kill him but that didn’t matter, so long as his family was safe.

Leo would put his life in danger in order to protect his family, no matter what the cost.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“S-So you see...I d-did this to..to p-protect you g-guys.” Leo coughed into his hand and grimaced as he saw blood.

Don’s face was creased with worry and understanding. He wiped sweat off Leo’s brow and kissed his forehead lightly.

“You didn’t have to do that for us, Leo. We can handle anything Karai throws at us. But we can’t do that without our leader guiding us.”

Scanning the room, Leo noticed two missing siblings that complete the ‘us’. “Wh-Where are Raph...and M-Mikey?”

Donnie rolled his eyes. “They were distracting me so I sent them to scavenge for tools I could use. They’ll be back soon.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Man, these boxes are heavy! Why does Don need all this stuff anyway?” Mikey shifted his hold on said boxes so as not to add too much pressure on his injured hand. Noticing this, Raph stopped and reached for the boxes.

“Here, lemme help ya. Don’t want your hand to get worse and have don on my shell about it.”

Mikey hissed and stepped out of the way. “No thanks. I got it. Don’t have to pity me.” He continued forward as Raph followed, seething.

“I’m not pitying ya, bro. Just tryin’ to help ya out. Why won’t ya let me do that for ya?”

“I just...I can do this myself. It doesn’t hurt that badly so back off.” He stumbled and yelped, dropping the boxes on Raph’s foot.

“RAGGGH!! MIKEY!!!” He dropped his boxes and hopped on one foot, curses flying from his mouth.

“Oh shell, Raph. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean t-” “YOU IDIOT! THIS IS YOUR FAULT! I SHOULD’VE DONE IT MYSELF!”

Mikey stopped nursing his hand and backed away from Raph. Instead of crying, like he usually would have, he was red with anger and kicked the boxes.

“Fine! You can carry those boxes yourself! You obviously don’t need me so I’m going home!” He ran to the lair and locked himself away in his room.

Raph smacked his forehead. “Not again...Mikey wait up!” He dashed home and pounded on Mikey’s door with enough force to nearly break the door’s hinges.

“Open up! Mikey I didn’t mean it! Let’s talk about this! And what’s your problem? I know you’re hiding something! Mikey!”

In the midst of his incessant knocking, Raph didn’t stop in time as the door opened and his fist connected with Mikey’s face, sending him sprawling on the floor in a pile of glass bottles.

“Aw man, Mikey! I’m so sorry!!” Raph knelt down and helped his brother onto the bed to assess the damage he caused.

Mikey’s left eye was swollen shut. He was covered in cuts and scrapes from broken glass and he had a split lip.

“Shell, Mike. I’m real sorry about that. I’ll patch ya up and then-wait. What’s with the beer bottles? You’re not a drinker. Unless...” Raph’s eyes widened slightly.

“That’s what you’re addicted to. Alcohol. You’re an alcoholic!” Mikey rolled his good eye and put a bottle to his lips.

After taking a sip, he attempted a glare. It was now or never. The cat was out of the bag. Speaking of which, he had to find Klunk and feed the poor cat.

“So you finally know the truth, Raphael. Happy now? i’m addicted to something bad for my health because of you! I’m a wretched creature that deserves to die, because of you!”

Angry tears fell but he made no attempt to wipe them away. He wanted Raph to see how much he hurt hi. It served him right for the years of abuse.

Guilt came crashing down upon Raph to the point where he nearly lost consciousness.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Addictions are hard to break.

“Y-You mean...I caused this? It’s my fault you’re...like this?” Raph gulped.

Not one to hold grudges for long, Mikey sighed and nodded, taking on a softer tone. “Yes...you did. But...hey, it’s not that bad. Leo’s helping me get over it so...yeah. It’s ok now. Ow.” Mikey touched his throbbing eye and cringed.

Raph stood up and took Mikey’s hand. “C’mon, bro. Let’s get ya fixed up and then we can see Leo. Ok?”

Smiling, Mikey nodded and allowed himself to be led to the bathroom for treatment. He knew it would be painful since some glass was stuck in his skin but he bit into his busted lip - which bled more as he did so - to hold back his agonized screams of pain.

“Sorry Mike. It’ll be over soon, I promise. Just hang onto the edge until I’m done, ok?” Raph gave Mikey an apologetic smile as he continued to remove fragments of glass from sea green skin.

Mikey’s knuckles were white as he dug his fingers into the edge of the bathroom sink, thus causing pain to shoot from his burnt hand up his shaking arm. He yelped and nearly hopped off as he cradled his hand.

Soft whimpers escaped before he could stop them. He didn’t want to look weak in front of his older brother but the pain was overwhelming so he began to sob.

Raph immediately stopped performing his task, set the tweezers aside, and pulled his younger brother into a tight embrace.

“Shhh. It’s ok, Mikey. Everything will be alright. Just calm down, little brother.” He rubbed Mikey’s shell gently and rocked back and forth until the sniffles died down. Raph had always calmed Mikey like that when they were younger and it still worked to that day.

“Just two more pieces then I’ll wrap ya up. Can ya hang on for a little longer, buddy?” Mikey nodded and stayed still as the last two fragments were removed and his wounds were properly cleaned then wrapped.

“There, all done. How do ya feel?” Stretching and rubbing his tense limbs, Mikey winced as he spoke. “I’m ok, I guess. Better than I would be, thanks to you, Raphie boy.”

Raph smirked. “Don’s not the only medic in the lair. Now let’s go check on our big bros.” He helped Mikey off the sink and draped an arm around him to keep Mikey from falling over.

Together, they slowly made their way to Leo’s room and stepped inside. “Easy does it Mike.” Raph aided Mikey to sit in a chair as the two eldest looked on in shock and confusion.

Donnie snapped as he dashed to check on his youngest sibling. “Raph, what did you do?!” Raph rolled his eyes. “It was an accident, Don. I didn’t mean to hit him.”

“Just because he upsets you, doesn’t mean you have the right to beat him up! God, Mikey, your eye!” Donnie placed an ice pack over the swollen eye with a scowl.

Getting defensive, Raph stood to his full height. He came face to face with Donnie. “I did NOT beat him up! I swear I didn’t! It-It was an accident!”

Mikey pushed the two apart as much as he could and stood on wobbly legs. “ENOUGH! It’s not Raph’s fault! I’m the one that opened the door without warning while he was still knocking so blame me, not him!”

Don stumbled back at the sudden outburst and stared at Mikey in utter shock. Seeing how his rage had affected Donnie, Mikey took deep breaths and sat back down. “Sorry...Sometimes alcohol makes me moody, mostly angry. I’m sorry.”

Donnie blinked and regained his composure enough to catch one detail that especially caught him off guard. “Wait, did you say alcohol? As in, you drink it?”

Snorting, Raph spoke in a sarcastic manner. “Boy, you are the smart one!” Mikey nudged him and held the ice pack onto his eye as he glanced up at Donnie.

“Yes, I do drink the stuff. It’s a long story but it’ll be fine now. How’s Leo?” They heard coughing and three heads turned to the bed.

“I-I’m fine...guys. R-Really. Just n-need rest...” Leo coughed and groaned. 

Donnie tsked. “Don’t kid yourself, Leo. That drug is highly dangerous and could cause you to d-” “No need to finish that sentence, Donnie!”

Raph slapped a hand over Donnie’s mouth and looked at Leo sympathetically. “Is there somethin’ you’d like to tell us, Fearless?”

Leo sighed and explained the situation that he told Donnie, pausing to catch his breath now and then. “A-And that’s why...th-that’s why I’m l-like this. To p-protect you guys...”

Mikey set the ice pack aside and quickly ran to the bed, hugging Leo tight. “You’re the best big brother, ever! Risking your life for ours while trying to help with our problems is so noble and awesome! But...”

Mikey pulled away to look Leo in the eyes - as best as he could - with a serious face rarely seen on the youngest. “...you didn’t have to go this far to protect us. We’re all skilled ninjas so there’s no need for you to take all the burden on yourself. I’m here for you, ‘til the end.”

Leo’s eyes misted and he hugged Mikey even tighter. “Th-Thanks, little bro. I l-love you.” 

Mikey buried his face in Leo’s shoulder, being careful with his own injured one. “I love you too, big bro.” 

Donnie smiled. “It’s a Kodak moment.” Raph scoffed and swatted Don’s head. “I can’t believe ya just said that.” “Well it’s true. Now enjoy the brotherly love, you hothead.”

Shrugging, Raph grabbed Donnie’s shoulder and joined the hug. The four brothers remained like that for several minutes before breaking apart as Leo went into a harsh coughing fit.

Afraid to leave one another alone, they all huddled together on Leo’s bed and slept much like they did when they were mere tots to keep warm. Each felt safe within reach of their strong siblings that could easily protect them from any harm that may come in the night.

Every day for the next month, the brothers worked hard to defeat their personal addictions while getting onto anyone that strayed.

Donnie researched the substance Leo was addicted to and determined the best way to wean Leo off of it without complications. Leo would take five milligrams less of a dose each week until he stopped taking it completely.

Everyone was doing fine with their addictions, except one morning when a particular turtle took a drastic turn in the rehabilitation process.

Leo, Raph and Donnie were sitting on the couch watching one of Splinter’s favorite soap operas - which they had gotten really into the week before.

“Karen doesn’t deserve Lenny. She’s too much of a snob to see the value in a protective boyfriend.” Raph huffed.

Leo nodded. “Yeah, but you can’t blame her. It’s all she’s known growing up so she can’t help it. Besides, It’s obvious she has an inside thing with Ronald.”

Donnie clicked his tongue against his teeth. “I, for one, couldn’t care less about them. Damien should get more screen time. His inventions are state of the art.”

The scene on the TV changed and revealed Murphy, the troublemaker on the show. “Ugh. That kid seriously gets on my nerves. Launching water balloons, messing with gadgets, cooking insane meals that poison people and make them sick...I don’t know how they haven’t just locked him away for insanity.” Raph ranted.

Rolling his eyes, Leo nudged Raph. “Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?” Raph nodded. “As a matter of fact, yeah. Kid reminds me of Mike.”

Donnie joined the conversation for he felt his opinion should be known. “His antics are nice for a good laugh but they do get tiring after a while.”

Leo glanced at them feeling a twinge of anger. “How could say that? Mikey’s our brother and deserves to be treated as our equal.” He raised his hand to silence Raph, as he tried to interrupt, and continued. “I know I don’t but I will start to and you both should as well.”

The red and purple loving turtles closed their mouths, causing an eerie silence to envelope the room. The silence was broken by a loud crash and thud that thundered throughout the lair.

Raph shot up off the couch. “The shell was that?!” Leo rose to his feet, glancing around. “I haven’t the faintest idea...” Donnie turned his gaze toward the kitchen. “You don’t think...?”

The trio darted to the kitchen to find the table flipped upside down with glass and liquid scattered about. What took them by surprise, though, was the twitching foot sticking out from under the table.

A million thoughts crossed Donnie’s mind as he assessed the situation, determining the best course of action. While Don’s eyes glazed over with his thought process, Leo stood frozen in place, staring at the upturned table like it would come alive and bite him.

His thoughts ricocheted around his mind. ‘Mikey heard us-them. What if it triggered something? Will he be ok? He could...He could relapse and start over again or be severely hurt. What if-?’

“Yo Fearless! Instead of daydreamin’, how about ya help me?!” Raphael snapped, causing Leo to be jolted out of his thoughts and back to the situation at hand.

“Oh, umm...right. Sorry.” They both went over and - at Don’s command - gradually lifted the table off their brother. Donnie quickly pulled Mikey into his arms and dashed to the lab to get a better view of his injuries.

Once their brothers were out of harm’s way, Leo and Raph lowered the table and stared at one another in silence. Raph rubbed the back of his neck and sighed.

“I’m...sorry for all the fights and crap. I started them all and I actually think you’re pretty cool, for a stiff.” 

Leo shook his head, giving Raph a sympathetic look. “I’m the last person you need to apologize to right now, but I accept your apology anyway.”

The two brothers shook hands and went to the lab to check on the other two. Upon entering, they found Donnie - who usually whizzed around the room while working - sitting on a stool holding a sheet of paper in his hands.

“Don? Are you ok?” Leo stepped forward and placed a hand on his shoulder, glancing at what was on the paper. His heart seemed to freeze over as he caught sight of a drawing - done by Mikey at a younger age - that caused him to stop breathing for a moment.

The drawing depicted the four brothers and Master Splinter happy together, except there was a big red ‘X’ over Mikey with scribbled words to the side. ‘I don’t deserve this happiness for I’m a loser like Raphie always tells me. One day I’ll redeem myself and let my family finally have peace and quiet.’

“I found it in his belt. He must have relapsed and went back to his alcoholic self-loathing.” Donnie set the drawing down, hating the sight of it. “I thought he was making great progress...but I was wrong. We shouldn’t have said those things.”

Raph stood close to Mikey to inspect his face and noticed dark circles under his eyes. It was true. Mikey had relapsed. He growled and knocked over a cart.

“I don’t believe this! He was fine! How have we not noticed it?! This shouldn’t have happened!”

Donnie stood and gripped Raph’s shoulders. “Raph calm down! You’re going to wreck my lab!” Raph shook him off and stormed out.

His anger had reached its boiling point and he was about to explode in rage. Not wanting things to get worse, Leo stood in his path and was ready to keep him back by any means necessary.

“Outta my way, Leo! Not in the mood!” Leonardo stood his ground. “You need to relax and sit back down before you do something you’ll regret.”

Raph’s hands curled into fists as his nostrils flared with teeth bared. No one could stop him from going out. No one. Raph growled and made to lunge at Leo when a furry paw grabbed his arm.

“Raphael, that is enough!” Splinter held him back and forced him into a chair. His voice was stern as he reprimanded his son. “Getting angry and running off will not help your brother. You must remain here so you can help him.”

Feeling helpless, Raph stared sat his hands dejectedly as he found his voice that was barely above a whisper “How, Sensei? How can I help when I’m usually the problem?”

Splinter placed a paw upon his son’s shoulder for reassurance. His son had told him everything about their addictions, including the causes, and knew Raphael was referring to his behavior in the past.

“Raphael, my son, you may have caused this to begin, but only you have the power to end it. Your brother looks up to you and you must help him get better.”

Raph looked over at Mikey, set his jaw, and nodded. “Hai, Sensei.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Addictions are hard to break.

After Mikey woke up and got his shoulder taken care of - which had been impaled by a fragment of wood from the table - he hid in his room to avoid the questioning eyes of his family.

He knew the consequences of his actions but couldn’t stop himself; it just happened. The brothers’ behavior toward one another hadn’t changed much since they tried to end their addictions and it made quitting that much harder for Michelangelo.

“What’s wrong with me?” Mikey spoke to his stuffed bear that he had since childhood. “I don’t want to do this anymore, Teddy. It’s not good for me and I’m getting way too emotional. But...I can’t stop, no matter how hard I try.” 

He became angry and paced the floor in agitation, gripping the stuffed bear’s neck. “It’s Raph’s fault I’m like this! If he could just control his stupid temper like normal mutants, none of this would have happened!”

Mikey sat on the ground and looked around the room helplessly. Tears welled up in his eyes as he held his beloved bear close. “What am I gonna do?”

“Ya can start by listenin’.” A deep voice coming from the doorway had Mikey nearly jump out of his skin in fright. He looked up to see his closest in age brother Raphael staring at him. Mikey was so afraid that he scrambled back until his shell hit the dresser, causing a jolt of pain to explode in his shoulder.

“OW!! Ow ow ow ow...” Mikey clutched his shoulder and grimaced. It hurt so bad that he wanted to scream to the heavens above but clenched his teeth so as not to frighten the humans on the surface.

Feeling gentle pressure applied to his shoulder, Mikey glanced up with wet eyes at his hotheaded sibling. Raph was holding an ice pack on his injury with a concerned, yet compassionate look on his face.

“The one thing I’d like ya to do right now is listen to me, ok?” Mikey nodded numbly, losing the ability to speak.

“Look, bro. I’m sorry, ok? I’m sorry for...well, everything. I know it’s not enough to just say sorry but I can’t take anything I did back. I...I regret what I’ve done to ya and I’ll do everything in my power to make things right between us.”

Raph paused to wipe away Mikey’s tears that continued to fall with more force than before. “I-I know ya probably won’t forgive me but...but I want ya to know how sorry I am f-for hurting ya like this.”

“Mikey I’m sorry. M-Mikey please forgive me. Don’t h-hate me Mikey. ‘Ikey I’m scared.”

*Thirteen Years Earlier*

 

Three-year-old Raphael held his two-year-old younger brother in his arms, fearing what damage he had caused.

He hadn’t meant to knock Mikey off the edge of the tunnel during their excursion.

It was an accident.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The two youngsters had strayed from the others while out on a walk and ran through the tunnels, giggling like the troublemakers they were.

“‘Ace ya Waphie!” Mikey sped ahead of his brother who, not one to turn down a challenge, surged after him. “I gon’ beat ya ‘Ikey!”

Mikey giggled but stopped as he stumbled and fell back, afraid of falling off the edge of the tunnel they found themselves in. Raph stopped right behind Mikey and helped him to his feet. “‘Ikey ‘kay?” 

Mikey nodded and tapped Raph’s shoulder. “Waphie it!” He ran in circles as Raph chased him, eager to tag his energetic sibling.

Raph - using more strength than he intended - pushed Mikey. “‘Ikey it! I win!” Due to the slick floor, Mikey lost his footing and fell off the edge. His screams, high-pitched and filled with terror, echoed throughout the sewers as he landed with a crack.

“‘IKEY!”

Raph slid down a pipe and rushed to his brother’s side. “‘I-Ikey? Ya ‘kay?” When he received no response, Raph panicked and held his brother screaming and crying.

“I-I sowwy ‘Ikey...I sowwy.” He sniffled. “‘Ikey I’m scared.”

 

*Back to the Present*

“S-So, that’s why I act how I do. I am always afraid of losing ya so I treat ya harsher than I should. So please, Mikey. please don’t hate me. F-Forgive me.”

Mikey looked up at Raph, taking all that he had said in, and nodded. He wrapped his arms around Raph’s neck and hugged him close. His body shook with fear and shame at what he’d been doing to himself. All the years of drunken nights and fits of anger came crashing down on top of the young turtle and he clung to his older brother as tight as he could.

“I-I’m sorry, Raph. I’m s-sorry for getting mad at you...” He sniffed and the rest of what he said was drowned out by loud sobs.

Sensing the younger turtles’ distress, the two eldest rushed into the room and instinctively held their brothers as they cried.

Suddenly, a deep tune could be heard from the group and six eyes turned toward the eldest. Leonardo was softly singing an ancient Japanese lullaby that their Sensei used to sing to the four right before bed.

Leo was always the best at singing - other than Mikey when cooking, of course - and the other three usually stopped what they were doing to listen to the melodious voice of their leader.

As the song reached its end, three mutant turtles were snoring and cuddled up close to one another. Leo glanced at each of them with a soft smile and eventually nodded off to sleep as well.

The following morning, three ninja ventured into the kitchen at the smell of bacon and eggs cooking. Surprise plastered on their faces, Leo, Donnie and Raph watched as their youngest brother pranced around the freshly cleaned kitchen wearing a fairly feminine apron.

No one had set foot into the kitchen since the incident, except Mikey, and the place looked flawless. Not a trace of the past day’s events.

Sensing eyes on him, Mikey turned to see his older brothers staring at him. He blushed and removed the pink ‘Kiss the Cook’ apron, placing it on a hook. Not a move was made, nor a word spoken, for several minutes until Donatello cleared his throat.

“What have you been up to, Mike?” Grinning sheepishly, Mikey set plates piled with food at each seat at the table. “Oh, you know. I got up early and cleaned the mess I made in here. Then I cooked breakfast for everyone. Hope you all enjoy it.”

The three eldest sat down and dug into their food. All their eyes widened and some watered at the bitter taste in their mouths.

Leo choked it down and gulped down his orange juice, which didn’t taste much better. He made a disgusted face and looked at Mikey. “Agh. What did you put in this? It’s so...bitter. No offense to you.”

Sighing, Mikey sat in his seat and glanced down at his plate. “I’m sorry. I-I didn’t want it to taste bad. It was the only way I could think of to get rid of all my booze without wasting it...But now that I think about it, I realize that it was a dumb idea. I’m sorry...”

Raph looked at Mikey sympathetically then kept eating. “Well I like it. It’s not that bad, actually. Right, Donnie?” Raph kicked Donnie’s shin, causing him to yelp in surprise.

“Ah, right! It tastes great! I love it!” Donnie shoveled the food into his mouth and drained his glass of orange juice, trying not to reveal his distaste.

“Thanks, Raph, but you don’t have to lie for me. I know it’s bad.” Mikey turned to Donnie. “Sorry you had to do that. Please go rinse out your mouth.”

Donnie sighed in relief and rushed to wash out his mouth. Feeling defeated, Mikey shoved his plate aside and laid his head on the table, not wanting to meet his brothers’ eyes.

“Go ahead, gag. Vomit if you have to. I understand. Just be glad I got rid of the smell. It only took two hours to do.”

Leo got up and wrapped his arms around Mikey’s carapace, giving a gentle squeeze. “It’s the thought that counts. I am proud of you for fighting against this addiction, little brother.”

Raph stood as well and lifted Mikey’s chin to look him in the eyes. “Leo’s right Your intentions were good and that’s what matters. Don’t let one mistake destroy who ya have become. We love ya just the way ya are.”

“And...” Donnie re-entered the kitchen and sauntered over to kneel beside Mikey. “...you’re great cook when alcohol is not involved. So don’t let it get you down.”

Mikey could definitely sense the love and support radiating off his siblings. Their words of encouragement lifted his spirits and gave him renewed strength.

He smiled and whispered so as not to spoil the moment. “I love you guys.”


End file.
